Sup3rflyy

I’ve been pretty down since I lost my job. But I’m starting to get back up. And things are looking pretty good.

I even treated myself to a new tattoo yesterday. Tattoos make me feel better(:

Anyways. I’m gonna Netflix some Avatar now. And probably end up watching the entire series. Again.

I’ve been so busy packing and working. And wedding planning!

It’s all been pretty exciting(: I can honestly say that I’ve never been happier<3 everything’s falling into place. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

On a different note. I sliced off my thumb nail at work today. A pretty good chunk of it too. And. It feels really fucking weird. No bueno.

(You like that bilingual shit, huh?)

I disappeared for a while.

Not that any of you probably noticed. Haha.

Anyways. Adulthood sucks. Work, bills, household shit. I’ve been pretty busy lately. Annndddd. I’m looking for a second job. I’ve had a few interviews already, but they were all for not.The right one hasn’t popped up yet.

I miss Tumblr. Maybe I’ll start getting on more frequently again.

OHYEAH! My weight loss/lifestlye change is going awesome! I’ve lost 19 pounds so far. And I’m fitting into clothes that I used to wear years ago((: i’m so happy!!

WHAT THE FUCK.

I haven’t been on in quite a while. I’ve been pretty busy I guess.

And I’ve been sick these last few days. I’m finally starting to feel better. Also. I’m pretty sure I’ve gained back the ten pounds I’ve lost since starting to diet/workout again. Anyways.

I spent the day with J<3 it’s his birthday. It was perfect. We watched television, took the little one trick or treating, made dinner, and ate cheesecake. (It’s his favorite!)

We finally decided where we’re going to move! It’s going to be amazing. I can’t wait until we finally save enough money to go:3

I’ve been slowly working myself to get back on my old diet for the past week. You know, giving myself time to make meal plans and workout schedules between work and everything else.
Anyways, I cheated today): my family was barbecuing for my grandma’s birthday. I ended up eating a hot link in a bun, a pork rib, and potato salad. AND a slice of cake.
Ugh. I feel so fat right now.

Fuck these people. Fuck them.

Yep. I’m an eighteen year old female who has sex with my boyfriend of FOUR YEARS. What a fucking slut I am. What a fucking whore. I should fucking be publicly stoned to death!

I’m fucking out of here as fucking soon as I save enough. I don’t give a fuck anymore. Fuck a car. I’ll fucking walk everywhere. I don’t fucking need these people. Fuck them. Fuck you. Fuck everyone.

Oh yeah. And fuck me right? Remember, cos I’m such a fucking tramp. I’ll fuck anything, anywhere. Right, Mom?

Well fuck you. I’m not the one who got pregnant at fifteen. Hahahah.

You shout and no one seems to hear.

Everything’s been shit lately. I don’t know if you can tell. Or if you care.

But blogging about it makes me feel like I have secret readers or something. That just read my shit and care about it in some weird mutual follower kind of way. Or whatever. I don’t know.

I’m getting so bad again. I don’t want to be used to feeling this way. I don’t want it to be comfortable.

I want to be happy. I want to enjoy a meal. I want to be okay.

I don’t know. I’m going to watch a movie or something. Maybe. Probably not.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

All the fucking BULLSHIT that’s been going on, and I THOUGHT it finally got a little fucking better today. I spent $300 on tickets to the Van Halen concert. And guess what the fuck!? THEY JUST CANCELLED EVERY FUCKING SHOW AFTER JUNE 26TH.

Fuck this. Fuck everything.

So much for a fucking break.

Oh, okay.

I get it now. You’re not making me wait because you’re not ready. You’re making me wait because you want to torture me. You want me to know what it’s like to watch the person you love be with someone else.

Don’t pretend like it bothers you that I’m in such fucking pain. I know you’re enjoying it. It makes you fucking happy. Doesn’t it?

Don’t tell me otherwise. I know it’s true.

But it’s not your fault. It’s mine. It always has been. We all have to pay for our sins. And it’s my choice to stick around.

And that’s the thing. You take advantage of that. You know that my love for you is so deep and strong, that I’ll stick around through all the shit - everything.

So it’s both of our faults.